


Devito Family fun!

by Newbyposting (orphan_account)



Category: Christian Bible, Original Work, Star Wars - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Simpsons
Genre: Bongs, Cloaca, Fire, Flashbacks, Food Industry, M/M, Masturbation, Nipple Clamps, Other, Thatcher - Freeform, Time Travel Fix-It, Watersports, artisanal condoms, bongweed, chicken, crackfic, joke, teeside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:22:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Newbyposting
Summary: Crackfic, not really a fic and more just a sequence of words, selected collaboratively in a garden.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Devito Family fun!

**Author's Note:**

> i Do Not advise reading this and frankly i apologise for it being in the tags of actual real things, have fun if you do read it  
> most everyone but Robert, Hans and the tagged characters are the real people who "wrote" this - dont be a dick

_Once upon a field, there were horses._ Their owner went shopping for 30 different massive nipple clamps as well as prime beef testicles for reasons unknown to his foe. Local artisanal condoms, which were glowey because they reacted badly and extremely violently to spum and pre, were available cheaply. "Oh my fucking cock." Said Bilbo Swaggins, boyfriend of Gandalf. Radioactively casting actors opened the gates to Bilbo's field. "Pissing horses really turn Gandalf on." Ejaculated Robert Swaggins. "Father!" Replied Bilbo. He was dancing lewdly through golden streams. Suddenly germans erupted generously behind golden showers. "Germans!" Gasped Hans, lamenting her dying interest. Berwin Swaggins, spouse to Hans Lederman, belched: "Fuck pussy!" Gandalf needed a pegging. The aforementioned pussy, which belonged to Hans, contained copious bongs. Doctors were concerned with everything except Connor, who guzzled vinegar mixed with jism. Connor departed from the ambience, despite horses having closed cloacas. Gandalf homoerotically beckoned: "Oh, pussy!" Bilbo swooned into his father's chicken burger restaurant.  
"When will Grey serve luxurious military style bussy? All 69 tired Germans, Victor Newby excluded, look suggestively dead. Victor gay." Bilbo shrieked at fire-consumed Grey May. Robert disdainfully sneered at staff member James: "Bring my best artisanal condom wrapper, Newby!" James cried apathetically. Gandalf masturbated: "Leonard!" "Who stole my bongs?" Hans, dying, wailed, her pussy empty. "Now, Sam, why haven't I 69d Gandalf?" Connor perished slowly. Luckily, doctors saved Megan's phone containing all life known. Connor disintegrated, reappearing moments later. Chicken is James' sexiest pastime, save porn involving golden streams. Adam, Berwin, and Connor all wriggled sexily inside Connor's boyfriend simulator, Binfield. Binfield, situated beside Thatcher's bedroom, wherein many Chicken'R'Us branded cuckholdes cowered, was preparing piss flavoured artisanal condoms. Bilbo looked loathingly horny. Connor wept.

** 20 years earlier: **

"Bilbo bodaciously stabbed me again." Gandalf moaned homoerotically. "Woe befall me!" Robert also orgasmed, touching Connor's father's gavel. Adam Teeside, watching from afar, killed Connor homoerotically. Grey wailed sexily, teleporting towards angels: "Set alight my restorative nipples facades." The angels set course for Tatooine, hoping Frank might incorporate Yoda plotwise. Alas, he was occupied. Similarly, Sheev Swaggins needed angels gone. A muppet, named Lucy, snuck 40 horses rectally through customs, despite Bilbo's cavernous cloaca closing sale. She ended relations with Binfield, forcing exciting foreplay instead. "Superintendent Chalmers, where's my Shapiro, Ben? Bussy time!" Robert cried. 40 nipple Newbys, including Victor and germans, simultaneously came.

The End.


End file.
